Beer Blogging - Trader Joe's Dunkelweizen

After that abortion of taste, I need something good, and I'm hoping this is it:



It's a new beer from Trader Joe's house brand, Josephsbrau: a Dunkelweisen, or amber unfiltered wheat beer. At least, I think it's new; yesterday was the first time I ever saw it in my local Trader Joe's so I picked up a 6-pack.

Poured into a hefeweizen glass, the beer develops a thick tan head that sticks around for quite a while. The color, as you would expect from the name, is a deep, cloudy amber. The aroma is intensely malty, with some floral hops underneath.

The taste is a lot like the smell, except that the malt is a little thinner than I expected and the floral hops are more present. The beginning of the beer has a light hop taste and a bit of bubblegum as well. The darker malts come in after that, before fading into a floral aftertaste. The biggest disappointment here is the mouthfeel: there's almost no carbonation there. Maybe that's only the case in light of the extremely carbonated beverage I tried before this one, but I don't think so. I think it's just not that carbonated after being poured into the glass.

The overall effect is pretty good though, and the aftertaste is a strong finish: there's the floral hops, and when those fade there's a very pleasant caramel malt. What holds the beer back, flavor-wise, is that thinness. It makes the beer almost watery, which is a big no-no in a wheat beer. It feels weird to call a beer with so many different flavors "watery", but that's the distinct impression I'm getting, possibly because of the very little carbonation. For that, I have to rate it a 6/10; it would be a seven or an eight if the flavors were a little stronger all around. Still, it's not a bad beer, and the light flavor makes it very drinkable. If you like malty beers but not strong, sugary flavors, you could do worse than to pick up a 6-pack.

Beer Blogging - Red Death Budweiser and Clamato

Because, apparently, I really hate myself. Let's drink some clam:



That glass there is filled with Budweiser Chelada, which is a mixture of Budweiser, Clamato (warning: Clamato is kind of a disgusting idea if you're not familiar with it), salt and lime. The can says that it's "Budweiser beer with natural flavors and certified color". No explanation is given as to what "certified color" actually means. I bought this tallboy for a couple bucks at my local Albertson's the other day as kind of a novelty, so I better blog about it, right?

It pours into the glass looking exactly like strawberry soda, right down to the huge pink head and excessive carbonation. I don't know why, but that's kind of unsettling. The aroma smells like salty Budweiser, but after a second sniff I picked up some tomato and a faint, threatening whiff of clam. Here we go...

That is not good. I just took a very small sip, the smallest possible bit that I could ingest to get the flavor. I think it was a mistake. The flavor progression goes like this: CO₂ (from the incredible amount of carbonation, even after that huge head), Budweiser, lime, salt, tomato, CLAM. For a second I had some hope that the clam flavor wouldn't show up, but then it did. With a vengeance.

Many beers will have aftertastes that get better or more complex after you swallow. The Budweiser Chelada is like that, except it's the exact opposite of that. Now, I'm not a wimp about flavors. I never do chasers with shots. But there was a moment there where I would have consumed anything to get the progressively more awful aftertaste of this beer out of my mouth.

For unfathomable reasons, I took a second sip, which was exactly the same as the first sip. That's enough of that. Because it's what I do, I guess I have to rate the beer. It gets a 0/10, the first perfectly awful rating ever on this here blog. DO NOT BUY THIS BEER. Don't even pick up the can, just to be safe. I can't imagine why anyone would enjoy this concoction, but whoever they are they're probably terrible people.